TEN THINGS

08/14/2015

30E

What an eventful week it’s been over here. The little kids started school on Wednesday and it’s been a hard transition—especially for Sailor. Birdie says she loves school and that it is “Amazing!”, but Say is not convinced and it’s been really tough for him. This morning was especially tough at drop-off. Sailor was really upset, which then made Birdie upset, and things just went South. If any of you have any helpful tips to pass my way, they are more than welcome! It was also my birthday yesterday. Thank you all for the sweet birthday wishes via Instagram. I am so happy that it’s Friday. Looking forward to the weekend!

1. Read this book in one sitting.

2. The 50 best outfits from the series Friends.

3. A tiny teddy bear.

4. Still completely obsessed with these pet lion photos. I also want to see the bizarre film Roar.

5. How to watch True Detective Season 2 in two minutes.

6. Powerful photographs of students protesting around the world.

7. This house. #givemeit

8. Watermelon-Habanero Lemonade, anyone?

9. Seven snap judgements we make within seconds of meeting people.

10. I randomly send this video to my friends to put a smile on their face and wish them a good morning.

Photo above by Pattie Boyd.

23 comments

  • Liz

    Watermelon- habanero lemonade could be pretty good. I also have a new obsession for those mexican fruit stands that serve the fruit with chili powder and lime — and the watermelon is so good with that combo.

    http://hashtagliz.com

  • Melissa

    I’m also having issues with my 2nd grader. She wants to be at home with me all day instead of going to school. I believe my daughters is an anxiety issue, it’s been rough. She loves school and the teacher, but just cries and cries on the way to school. The principal had to pull her out of my car yesterday morning. :/

    What is your little one doing?

  • Ellen

    I just recently read “We Should All Be Feminists” in one sitting, too! I then quickly bought her novel “Half of a Yellow Sun” and I CANNOT PUT IT DOWN. Chimamanda is amazing!

  • Anka

    I am still pretty upset that I even started True Detective Season 2. Loved the acting, but the whole season was just one huge exercise in nihilism and I was not into it. I think season 2 in 2 minutes is about as much as I can take! :p

  • Ashlee

    Ah FRIENDS is my favorite show, own all the seasons. Last fall they had a pop up shop of Central Perk in The Village in NYC with the real set and tons of clothes. Lets just say it was heaven!

    http://www.tusksandtails.com

  • MJ

    I worked in child care for 8 years. 3 as a teacher and 5 as an administrator. My best advice is Routine, Routine, Routine. Talk about the drop-off routine with Sailor and then stick to it. Try to keep a fairly simple routine: walk into school, drop off his bag, say good morning to the teacher, find a truck to play with, give 1 hug and 1 kiss and then Mama is out the door. It’s not always going to be pretty. He might cry for a few days but soon the routine will set in and he’ll probably be running to his classroom :-)

    • Tess

      I have to agree with this! Definitely make sure not to avoid talking about school outside of school. I made sure to “preload a lot”. I also made a visual calendar with pictures on the fridge so that my son could see what he was doing each day. He put a magnet on the day of the week it was so that he knew what he was doing today and what was coming tomorrow.

      • Kate

        I third this advice. I am a nursery school teacher and agree it’s all about routines and consistency. You can make up a song you sing everytime you walk towards the classroom: ‘Sailor is going to school today, he’ll have lots of fun and play play play’. If you make it fun and predictable he will begin to feel more comfortable with his new routine and really enjoy his time in school. Also having a picture of you or his family he can keep in his cubby and give a kiss to if he gets sad throughout his school day helps. Good luck!

        • Carly

          This is my 7th year teaching preschool and I’ll be the fourth to agree with the excellent advice from the previous commenters.

          I would add that you should NEVER sneak out, much as you might be tempted to. That will teach him that next time he has to keep an eye on you all the time or you’ll ditch him when he’s not paying attention.

          Also, maybe it’s worth mentioning that Sailor will be gauging your reactions to know how to feel about the school environment. If you’re nervous, he will be, too. Trust the teachers to do their job and try to be calm and confident.

          I also think it’s helpful when a child is very anxious to establish a drop off routine that is relatively quick, simple, and has clear end points. That way he can anticipate when the routine will end instead of drawing it out as long as he can. For example, reading a book has a clear end. Building a block structure does not. It can also be helpful to be right on time so that the room is quieter and the teachers have a little more time for one on one attention.

          Talk to your child’s teachers to establish a routine that will work well in their classroom. Depending on the year and the group of children I have suggested different strategies. I”m sure they would love to work out a plan with you!

  • Sarah

    My second born, who does not like change, cried all the way to preschool for 3 months. Every morning at drop-off I questioned and stressed about whether we were making the right decision. His teachers assured me that he was fine as soon as I was out of sight and he got into his morning routine of putting his slippers on. Fast forward a few years, and not only does he love school, but I now work at my kids’ old preschool! And sure enough, as hard as drop-off is, those kiddos calm down as soon as they get into their morning routine. And the less the parents waver, the easier it is for the child. So hang in there! Things will get easier!

  • Melissa Lowe

    I LOVED the article about Tippi and the lions! Thank you for that!

  • jen

    my daughter is close to birdie’s age now…for the last 2 years, i always had her put kisses in my pocket before i leave – she fills her hands with kisses and stuffs them into my pocket or bag… (and sometimes i do the same for her)…it’s silly, but for some reason helps make the goodbyes easier for her.

    hope it gets better…i have had my share of tears in the parking lot after drop off ;)

  • Gemma

    Happy Birthday for yesterday! It’s always hard when your kids are crying at school. I have been there! The only advice I can give is go with your instinct. You know your child best. I have had teachers telling me to just go, but I found that just staying a while until your child is more settled worked for me. Gemma xx http://www.jacquardflower.uk

  • Edwina

    Oh dear wee Sailor I hope things have got better for you all.
    as an early childhood teacher and now teacher’s aide we always found that boys struggled more with the separation and change of school way more than girls.
    my own beautiful boy screamed and cried and the teacher had to hold on to him while we left it was a long tearful drive home ( from me!). But our beautiful teacher rang us not long after to let us know he was happy as and by the end of the week he was jumping out of the car at the gate and running in :)
    Trust and listen to Sailors teachers they are certainly wanting to make this a happy transition for all of you :)
    obviously I don’t know Sailor or your good selves but my best advice is to have a wee chat with his teachers and see what they can suggest. ..every child is an individual so what might work for one might not be ok for another.
    Kia kaha and arohanui from New Zealand x

  • Kirstin

    So sorry to hear Sailor is having a rough go at school. I worked as a daycare teacher and then a nanny for two years and ended up helping the little boy I nannied transition into daycare, so I’ve seen how hard those transitions can be. The thing I learned (and I’m not a mom, so feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt) is that after the first few days, or week or so, it gets much much easier on the kids. Once they get used to the new routine and they realize that mom and dad always come back, they relax and begin to play and make friends. What I saw as a daycare teacher was even the most upset child at drop off can end up having the BEST time the rest of the day. But for those upset kiddos I would usually pick them up after mom or dad said goodbye and I would take them to a window and start distracting with a little story about something they can look at outside. It usually worked! Maybe you can ask one of his teachers to whisk him off to distract him after you say your goodbye. I also saw the Daniel Tiger songs work for the little boy I nannied. His mom and dad would sing the tune “Grown-ups always come back!” and he would repeat it and then he would feel better. Best of you luck! I hope it gets easier for him and for you!

  • Mariella

    hi,
    I’m an experience preschool teacher and I have some thoughts about saylors transition. If the school allows, and you may be doing this already, bring a lovey/comfort item from home to school that he can use to self soothe when you leave. Also, a picture of you or the family he can hold to seek comfort in. Most importantly you can help him by ensuring him it will be ok and that you will always come back from him. Children need predictability, so letting him know when you’ll be back (ie “I’ll be back after lunch/nap) this is something the teacher can remind him of too (you’re mommy will be back at….). Ideally this would work best if the students have access to some kind of visual schedule so they know what to expect in the day. Or you could make one got him…I always coach parents in saying a key phrase ever time they leave, again, predictability is so comforting to kids. (Ie I love you buddy, I know today will be a blast!) say this every time you go to leave, like you are s wired stepfor mom- trust me it helps. Also, don’t drag the good byes and conversation with the teacher, it’s very confusing for little ones. Try to do all your communication before you make the move to exit. If you say you are leaving you should do so. If you say bye but then linger with good bye and attempted re-assuring for another five minutes, kids get more worked up and anxious. Think of the band-aid analogy. This next one is easier said then done, but put on your big girl panties, lead by example. Stay positive through the transition, even if you are dying inside!! Hone your best acting skills to show him that you know he will he ok and will have so much fun. This works. Also, things typically get a little harder before they get better. So if you are trying a strategy and you notice he gets more upset then before, this is normal. When trying to “extinguish” a pattern of behavior, you typically see a spike before you see progress. I hope this helps. Know that this is so very normal and has a lot to do with how attached your children are to you <3 when you reunite make sure you tell him how proud/happy you are of him and stick to the positives. "I saw that awesome picture you drew today. Wow that was so cool to see ride that bike" I promise it gets better. I bet he is happily playing within 10 minutes of you leaving or will get there soon. You got this. -M

  • Mariella

    ps. Happy Birthday!!!

  • Corina

    I am working with kids for 25 years now and I can highly suggest not to force him or play games with him. Kids are not stupid, they soon will learn that those games are tricks that won’t make them feel better. And then you will have to come up with a new thing every morning and soon your kid loses his trust in you, in the teacher and in ans child care Institution as well. Respect your child and his wishes staying with you. He is probably not ready yet. But soon he will when he gets bored without his siblings at home and when he sees what birdie learned in kindergarten and how much she is enjoying it. Every person wants to grow, he probably only needs a little more time.

  • Jasmine

    Saying “mama always comes back” seems to help. My daughter often repeated this line to her caretaker ladies when I was gone and it seemed to reassure her. I agree that it’s important to walk away family quickly and with confidence so that he can see that you trust the people you are leaving him with. good luck!

  • Jennifer

    We brought a family pic to my son’s daycare- his teacher brings out if he is feeling lonely or missing us during the day and it really helps! I know another child in his class has a special locket with a pic of his parents inside. As for this ma and pa; I make sure to check out the day’s schedule before I leave. If I am feeling a little bad or guilty later because of a rough drop off that morning it helps to know they are doing something super fun!

  • Lisa

    Thanks for sharing the Jackson 5 clip, it put a smile on my face too! x

  • Cynthia

    I would love to read a post of your process in going from a home-schooled family to enrolling a toddler in school. I’m wondering if you were a home-schooled family that really unschooled and found it wasn’t working for everyone or if the kids pushed for it, or what. Did you consider keeping Sailor home for a year or two to have the benefits of more mama and papa time? Or are you simply getting tired? You’ve been raising kids for many years already. Do tell…the thought behind the fluff (clothes, backpacks) would be really interesting.

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